Moxie Crimefighter vs. Penn Jillette

Na Na Na what's my name?

I have uncovered another form of Celebrity Privilege. It came to light today when I read that Drew Barrymore had a baby girl. She named her Olive. It’s like she couldn't just use the name Olivia.  I don’t know anyone named Olive except for Olive Oyl.  I then had what Oprah calls an “aha” moment! I realized that celebrities don’t have to use baby books like we do. They can make up their own damn names. The outlandish the better.  Reece Witherspoon named her son Tennessee. Like after the state.  I wondered if she thought if I have a son, I am going to name him after the state of Tennessee that is so beautifully immortalized in the eloquent song “Rocky Top.” I fear for him when he is on the playground in a few years. Wait a minute, let me change that. I fear for him when he goes to his first preschool Pilate’s class. Kids can be so cruel. I also fear for the following children:

Apple—I think Gwynie named her after the only thing she eats that isn't macrobiotic. Don't forget she is smarter than the rest of us. Just ask her. She will tell you.

Pilot Inspektor – This is the moniker that Jason Lee (My Name is Earl) gave his son. Can you imagine being saddled with that name? It’s like they were mad at him from birth and wanted him to know it for his entire life.  He might as well just get a job at the airlines because everyone is already going to think that he is an aviation inspector.

Bronx Mowgli Wentz- It is bad enough that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz from "Fall Out Boy" were allowed to reproduce but to name their son after a Disney cartoon is a recipe for a disaster. Hasn't the child suffered enough having Jessica Simpson as an Aunt. I hope that he is strong because he is going to need it for a multitude of reasons.

The worst celebrity child’s name ever though is Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette.  Yes, you read that right. I never understood what made Penn and Teller funny and I sure as hell don’t know why he saddled his child with that name.  When she is old enough, I hope that she can call child services and report that form of child abuse or better yet go to the courthouse to change her name to Ann Jones. Who looks at a beautiful baby girl and thinks I am going to name her Moxie CrimeFighter so she can be ridiculed her whole entire life. If that isn't abuse I don’t know what is.

http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/2009/06/moxie-crimefighter-jillette-gets-96.html

This story doesn't have anything to do with outlandish celebrity names but when I was in the hospital having Vivian the nurse asked me if I named her after Julia Robert’s character in “Pretty Woman.” I couldn't believe that she would think that I would name her after a Sunset Strip hooker. She only cleared $3,000 from Richard Gere (As I type that I realized with the new wardrobe she probably cleared $10,000 when all was said and done.) I digress. I would at least name her after a high class hooker. I’m fancy like that. By the way, it was my Grandma’s name.

Lastly, when I was at Fox19, I met George Clooney’s parents. I proudly ran to my phone to show Nick a picture of my “George.” He indulged my craziness and commented on his cuteness. I then felt the need to tell him that my George wasn't named after his George but after my father and brother. I could seriously see him in his mind dial George to put me on his restraining order list.